As we get older, making new friends and forming meaningful connections can feel more challenging. But if there’s one thing the Golden Bachelor series can teach us, it’s that social connections are not bound by age. This reality show, which centers on seniors seeking love and companionship, offers valuable insights on how we can cultivate both new friendships and lasting relationships in our later years.
I was recently listening to a podcast with motivational speaker and author Mel Robbins, where she discussed three key factors that adult friendships need to thrive. These “rules” of adult friendship perfectly aligned with what I was already observing in The Golden Bachelor. Robbins recently released the book The Let Them Theory, and in a future post, I’ll dive deeper into how we can apply her theory to improve our relationships. But for now, let’s focus on the three elements Robbins says are essential to making new friendships as we age—especially after 50. That’s where the Golden Bachelor contestants come in.
Adult Friendship Rule 1: Proximity
“To really be someone’s friend, seeing them consistently needs to be easy.”
In our school and college years, Robbins points out, making new friends was easy because we had constant opportunities. Whether we lived in the same neighborhood or dorm, shared classes, or played on the same sports team, we were always around people. As we age, however, our lives become more fragmented, making it harder to meet up regularly.
Golden Bachelor example:
In the Golden Bachelor and Golden Bachelorette shows, the contestants lived together for weeks during filming. Sharing meals, activities, and living spaces gave them the chance to build friendships by simply being near one another. Many said it felt like being back in college—where close physical proximity made forming friendships almost effortless.
How to apply this in your life:
Look for opportunities to connect with people who live near you. For example, a few years ago, I co-led an online happiness group, and I grew closer to the co-leaders because they lived in a nearby community, and we were able to meet in person versus other participants who lived a hour or so away. We could easily meet for coffee, happy hour or community events. The closer someone lives, the more likely you’ll see each other often and build a deeper connection.
Adult Friendship Rule 2: Timing
As we age, our lives naturally take different paths compared to our younger years. Building friendships often works best when we connect with people who are in similar phases of life.
Golden Bachelor example:
Many of the senior contestants on The Golden Bachelor were either divorced, widowed, or at similar career stages—some retired or in part-time roles. They also shared life experiences, like having adult children and grandchildren. These commonalities made it easier to relate to one another and form genuine connections, compared to connecting with people in entirely different life phases.
How to apply this in your life:
Look for new friendships with people who share similar life circumstances. If you’re retired or an empty nester, seek out others in similar situations. If you’re still working and busy with your career, find people who understand the demands of your time. As a working woman with adult children, I’ve found my closest friendships are with others in similar stages—those who understand the balancing act and can carve out time for socializing.
Adult Friendship Rule 3: Energy
Just because you hit it off with someone initially doesn’t mean the friendship will last if your values and energy shift over time.
Golden Bachelor example:
On the Golden Bachelor series, many of the contestants bonded because they were all pursuing the same thing—building a romantic relationship with the bachelor or bachelorette. With their shared purpose and focus, forming strong friendships came naturally. Even after the show, many contestants maintained deep friendships that helped them feel less lonely and more connected.
How to apply this in your life:
Be mindful of how your energy and values can shift over time. Mel Robbins gives an example of how a friendship can change if your lifestyle evolves. Maybe you used to enjoy going out and drinking with friends, but as you prioritize health, you no longer align with their habits. Similarly, I had a friend who moved farther away after her divorce and became more interested in a nightlife-focused lifestyle, which no longer meshed with mine. We eventually drifted apart.
In summary:
To make lasting friendships later in life, focus on three key factors: proximity, timing, and energy. Look for people you can easily see regularly, who are in similar life phases, and who share similar values and interests. Friendships are meant to evolve, and while some may fade as life circumstances change, new ones are always waiting just around the corner.
For more inspiration on building social connections, visit us at livinghappilyconnected.com or follow us on Instagram @living_happily_connected or on Facebook at Happily Connected by Cher.
