It’s the Fourth of July week and to be honest, in recent years, this season hasn’t been my favorite. Since 2019, my summers followed a familiar rhythm—long hours at work, more indoors than outdoors, and a negative event that I was grieving from.
Sad events like the passing of a close aunt before the Independence Day holiday and a few years later, another special aunt passing right before Memorial Day. There was also COVID in 2020 resulting in two cancelled summer graduations for our daughters and a few years later, being in an ill-fitting new job I stayed with until Fall. I valued my freedom and the celebration around this patriotic holiday but often this season left me emotionally drained and disconnected from others.
This summer, I’m breaking that pattern.
When I think of this holiday – I want to be independent but not isolated. This blog post is a gentle reminder that autonomy and community aren’t mutually exclusive. We can value our independence, work through life’s challenges and still deeply need one another. We can move through life with agency and still crave the grounding, joyful experience of real connection.
I'm calling it my Summer of Connection and over the past few weeks, I’ve been intentionally filling up my social health cup. It’s been simple but deeply fulfilling. This has included:
- meeting up for lunch or happy hour with former coworkers who’ve become dear friends
- planning a Fourth of July brunch with a small group of girlfriends
- saying yes to more beach and lake walks, summer movie nights
- spontaneous get-togethers with old and new friends.
I’ve volunteered with a friend and attended networking events not just to exchange cards, but to build authentic relationships.
My husband and I have also:
- carved out intentional time for summer dates
- visited a lavender market for garden inspiration
- shared slow mornings on the patio
- hosted dinner parties under the lights of our new backyard cabana.
These small rituals have helped create a sense of joy and normalcy amid a world that often feels chaotic. If you're like me—independent to a fault—it’s easy to forget how restorative being with others can be.
How often the American way is defined as being dependent on no one – being the loner cowboy or girl on their horse doing it all on their own. I say that is a trap and research confirms that the happiest and healthiest among us are the ones who have healthy relationships and feel connected to others.
But connection doesn’t require grand gestures. Invite someone for coffee. Host a casual potluck. Say yes to a walk or a spontaneous evening gathering. It doesn’t have to be perfect—it just needs to be honest.
Reclaiming connection this summer is not about losing our independence but expanding it. When we nourish our relationships, we become more resilient, more joyful, and more capable of facing life’s challenges with open hearts.
For this July, I’m choosing presence over perfection, people over performance.
I’m building a summer of shared moments—imperfect, beautiful, and deeply human.
And I hope you will too. Let me know what you are doing this summer to connect more with others or what you are planning to do in the comments below.
For more inspiration on how to be more social connected in your life, check out my newest release, Your Social Connection Guide, on Amazon. Also follow me on Instagram or Substack at cherknebel.
